THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

Sometimes they say every girl's dream is to get married one day. This is true in most cases, but we must not forget that there are some girls who don’t believe in marriage anymore.

After four years of being in a relationship with my boyfriend, Sam, I realised that marriage was just a fantasy. Although I had a wish of getting married one day, Sam's attitude towards marriage made me realise that as long as I was with him, my wish would never come true. So, throwing the towel on marriage became the easiest thing to do.

Sam was an introvert, a less talk and more action type of man. He was very secretive and liked surprises. "Baby you know I don't like surprises", I said one day when he bought me an expensive gift without my approval. But Sam being Sam, he never listened.

One evening Sam visited me, and he was in a good mood. I was getting used to his exciting mood especially when it was his payday. "Surprise!" He shouted while showing me two flight tickets to Cape Town. He knew how much I wished to one day visit Cape Town, so he made things happen. I was so excited such that shouting at him was the last thing on my mind. The following two days, we left to my favourite holiday city.

During our flight, I was already nagging him about what we were going to do and when. "Baby please stop it", he said softly trying to shut me up from all the nagging. After two hours of travelling, there it was, Cape Town, my dream city.

Upon arrival in our hotel, I was amazed at its beauty. "Wow baby! This is so fancy! I love you baby!" I said excitedly, moving up and down the room. There was the beautiful swimming pool just next to our room, and on the other side the heavenly beach view. “I hope you did carry your swimming costume for tomorrow", he said.

"Babes, let's have a bath, we have a dinner reservation at 7pm, I am starving", he said as he prepared himself for a bath, seemingly ignoring everything I was saying.

At the dining area, just after having our luscious dinner, Sam reached out to his pocket, took out a well wrapped small box. "Baby I might not be perfect at all times but I am happy that you always stick by me. Sometimes I annoy you, but you never leave. I might be hard on you sometimes, but you are always calm towards me. I love you babe, I love you for no reason because I am afraid that when I get one, I might leave you when it's no longer there." Sam said while going down on one knee.

People in the restaurant started cheering, some whistling and others taking pictures and videos. "Tena, will you make me the happiest man and marry me?" Sam gently asked, waiting for an answer ready to put the ring on my finger.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks nonstop. I was surprised and happy at the same time. I didn't know how to respond, all I knew was that I loved him. "Say yes!" Shouted one middle-aged woman excitedly.

"Babes, you know how much I love you, right? But no! I can't marry you, Sam!" I said with tears continuing to roll down my cheeks. I rushed out of the restaurants, leaving Sam on his knee.

After the embarrassment I caused myself and him, the following day I left the hotel leaving his belongings and came back home. I left not knowing his whereabouts since he never came back to the room that night.

Immediately after coming back home, I sent him a message explaining why I turned down his proposal.

“Sometimes growing up in rural areas can be the hardest thing. I have fallen in love with you such that you are all I need in my life but I can't be with you. My family had already arranged a husband for me and next month am getting married. I wanted to tell you this long time ago but I was always happy with you because you were chosen by my heart not by my family. I love you Sam and I wish things were different. Take care of yourself and know that I will forever love you.”

It has been 5 years today since I last heard from Sam. And, somehow, fate had other things waiting for me right ahead because I never got into my arranged marriage. After leaving Sam, and having experienced the independence I had with him, I somehow could not get back to the life of arranged marriages, where I felt I had very little say. I had a choice: To be adored by my family as their good girl in an arranged marriage or to be disowned for being a bad girl with strong opinions and end up single and unhappy. I chose to be disowned by my family. Somehow, I do have many regrets and hopes. I always have the faintest hope that one day I will meet Sam and we will take things from where we left them. But then, will he ever forgive me? That’s the next nagging question I wish I never confront!

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