A LETTER TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE


 My love, I know that if you're reading this letter, it means you have already received the news. Perhaps you are the one who had the heavy task of informing everyone else.

I also know that you are reading this with your eyes filled with tears, rolling down those beautiful cheeks which I always enjoyed to slowly caress and gently put them at ease with my soft kisses.

I know that you have tons of questions, including the main reason that pushed me to the edge, for me to do what I eventually did, but my love, I am sorry that those questions will not be answered by me. But knowing you better, you will figure it out just like you always told me that you know me better than I know myself.

If I may ask my love, have you seen a duck swimming? Well, I doubt you do because you are not a fan of animals. But, above the water, a duck is always very calm and collected, but underneath the water, it is trembling and struggling. Well, I guess that was me because my smile, laughter and jokes were more like the duck above the water and my wet pillows, painkillers and smashed furniture at home every night were the duck underneath the water, trying to bury my sorrows.

I know that this is a shock to you my love, but please do not be disappointed by my decision. Your words of wisdom, words of comfort you always offered, were really finding the space in my heart – but, sadly, not enough. And it was never your fault. They were very much comforting because I knew that they came from a well-meaning place, from the bottom of your heart.

Please don’t listen to people who may say you’re a failure, because I know very well that I wouldn’t have walked all the way without your support, which you never hesitated to demonstrate every time. Just find it in your forever-loving heart to forgive me, my love, because with me I have taken our happiest moments together.

My sweetheart, please always understand that it took bravery to find happiness and freedom. My decision was to free myself from misery, sorrow and fake smiles to fake friends – not from you, my love. I was not a coward nor a failure, but I like to think I was brave. And I hope one day you will look back and realise how strong I was all this time.

I hate good-byes my love just like you know me, but I will see you on the other side.

At last, you will see my family, since they only unite during good-bye moments. And I am glad that this time around I’m bringing them together after so many years of living separately.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

Fathers! What good have fathers done for this world that is worth celebrating? How should the children of the world see their fathers in this world filled with so many crises? So, here we are, today is Father’s Day, and we get to reflect once again. This is a day to recognize and honour fathers for the contribution they make towards the lives of their children. Here we talk about mineworkers, teachers, unemployed fathers, and all the fathers who make sacrifices to ensure that their children have a better life. They are often away from home, and this sometimes leads to people failing to understand their role in their children’s lives. Fathers remain the major providers of their families, especially from a financial aspect, but that does not come easily. Some, as workers, experience abuse from their bosses at their workplaces, while others work overtime to bring the best to their children. Others risk their lives to support their children and families. Although in most cases th
Read more

I GAVE UP

Image
I gave up. there it is, I just said it! Judge me, call me a coward, or whatever you want but I just had had enough,  and I gave up! I know many will question why, and what I gave up. Motivational speakers and quotes will be surprised that after so many times of advising a lot of people not to give up, I completely did the opposite.   "Wake up, dust yourself and continue with the journey. Giving up is not an option", I always hear them saying, so I am here thinking that that is one of their favourite quotes. Honestly, I sometimes feel like giving up is the best decision one could take. A decision of just letting things go in order to create a new space for other things or people, clear decisions that were engulfed by the old ones and broader understanding of what they really want in life. Let us remember that when one door closes, another better one opens. So do not be afraid to give up. Do not force things, do not stay where you are unhappy, being hurt because you are
Read more

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

There are some things that many people fail to accept even in the 21 st century. Some people still cannot accept homosexual people. It is worse with parents because they end up disowning their own kids, their own flesh and blood. Such an act ends up hurting them (parents) in the process, though they do not realise at that particular moment. Most people still believe that homosexual people are either faking about who they are or are simply demon-possessed. Some people even hurl insults and show sings of disgust whenever they come across a homosexual person. During my youth days I had a gay friend, Sandziso. Well, I did not know about his sexuality at first, but I am happy now that I know. I met him at my 8 th grade. I was a newcomer and did not know anyone in the school. For the most times I was completely lonely at the school, with no one to talk to and share my lunch with for an entire week. After a week of loneliness, I saw a handsome and charming guy sitting in class, busy with hi
Read more