“I DON’T LOVE YOU AND I NEVER DID”

Not all words are meant to heal but some may destroy. It is good to always consider the way you speak and what you speak to people before you destroy another person’s life. Sometimes it is good to consider other people’s feelings and how they are going to adapt to certain words. Some people are driven to depression and anxiety and end up feeling useless because of certain words directed at them by other people. In extreme cases, some end up being murderers.

Lucy and Paul met three years back on a school trip. She was doing her 10^th grade, while Paul was a manager in one of the biggest museums in the country. It was love at first sight. Paul did not hesitate to ask for Lucy’s contact numbers when he saw her. Even though she was in the middle of a crowd, Paul found a way to talk to her.

Later that day, Paul started to communicate with Lucy through social media platforms. They communicated almost frequently, though sometimes they would spend two days without any chat. Being a manager, Paul was often kept busy by his work, as he often told Lucy. Lucy did not mind that at all.

Although their chats were more like friendship, Lucy was madly in love with Paul. She would always talk about Paul to her friends and some of her family members. Before going to bed, she would think about his handsome Paul and how much she loved him. She was super excited about having Paul in her life although nothing much was said between them being a couple.

In January 2019, Lucy decided move in with her “boyfriend”. She needed his assistance with accommodation and her school things since she was going to study at the university closest to where he resided.

Two months after Lucy moved in with Paul, things started to change. He was always receiving endless calls from his friends. Sometimes he would even spend the whole day without talking to Lucy especially when he had issues with friends and even when he was stressed by some of his girlfriends. Lucy started to realise that Paul was never interested in her, but since they were having sex, that gave Lucy false hope and signs.

One day she decided to ask Paul politely about their relationship and what was going on between them. “Paul, what exactly is going on between us, are we dating or what because I want to know where I stand with you since you sometimes pretend like I am invisible to you?”, asked Lucy. Paul replied “Lucy, who talked about being in a relationship here? I never loved you and I never will. Even the girls you saw on my phone, I am just flirting with them. I have been in a relationship for a long time that eventually didn’t end well, so I am not ready to be in a relationship again”.

Lucy was so heartbroken. She silently stood up with tears in her eyes and went to the bedroom. She locked herself and tried to comfort herself. Paul did not even bother himself to follow up on her but instead continued to talk to his “friends” as if nothing happened.

After some hours of crying, everything started to make sense to Lucy. The long calls from or to “friends”, many girls’ pictures on his phone and the I-don’t-care treatment he was giving her, opened her eyes. She realised that he did not even have her pictures on his phone. He never made her feel like they were a couple, although sometimes he was joking around saying silly things jokingly, though Lucy was taking it serious.

Lucy started to regret a lot of things and what she heard. She blamed herself every single day for the way things had been. But what was done was done.

After six hours of Lucy in the bedroom, Paul decided to go and check on her. He knocked on the door but she did not open. He tried to beg her to open the door but nothing. After few minutes of knocking, Paul went back to the sitting room to continue with his phone.

Time went by, but there was still no sign of Lucy coming out. It was late and Paul wanted to sleep. He knocked again but, like the first time, Lucy did not open. “Open this door you bitch, this is my house remember?!” angrily Paul shouted. Still, she did not open.

Paul went to the kitchen to get some spare keys where he usually put them. He opened the door with force, very angry, pushing it so hard that he almost fell.

When he tried to talk to Lucy, she did not say a word. When he opened her blanket, he was shocked of what he saw.