COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

There are some things that many people fail to accept even in the 21^st century. Some people still cannot accept homosexual people. It is worse with parents because they end up disowning their own kids, their own flesh and blood. Such an act ends up hurting them (parents) in the process, though they do not realise at that particular moment.

Most people still believe that homosexual people are either faking about who they are or are simply demon-possessed. Some people even hurl insults and show sings of disgust whenever they come across a homosexual person.

During my youth days I had a gay friend, Sandziso. Well, I did not know about his sexuality at first, but I am happy now that I know. I met him at my 8^th grade. I was a newcomer and did not know anyone in the school. For the most times I was completely lonely at the school, with no one to talk to and share my lunch with for an entire week.

After a week of loneliness, I saw a handsome and charming guy sitting in class, busy with his phone. “Looks like I am not the only person who is lonely after all”, I said silently to myself, looking at him and thinking of approaching him. It was not easy. At first, I hesitated confronting him but as days went by, and seeing him lonely like me, I eventually forced in myself the courage to face him. He was very calm and an easy person to talk to. We started to engage and he revealed that he was also a newcomer and had no friends.

“Oh, thank God, let’s hope we are going to be friends from now on”, I said. Since we both had no friends, we became each other’s best friends from that day. We began to chat frequently and spent more time together.

During weekends and holidays, we would go to parks, watch movies and even do sleepovers at each other’s homes.

Sandziso came from a very wealthy family and he was the only child. His family treated him like a treasure. Everything he wanted was given to him on a silver platter. His father was a businessman and Sandziso was going to take over his family’s business when he finished university, and this was drummed into his head almost on a daily basis.

One day when we were at the park, enjoying ice cream and playing soft music through his phone, he softly said the following words: “My dearest friend, can I tell you a secret?”. Without even paying attention, I responded with “Mmhhh…”. My mind quickly ran wild on the many possibilities on what he could reveal, as my eyes tolled from left to right, and back to left. And with a soft voice, he said “I… I… I… I am gay”.

I was so shocked, and I remember mistakenly spitting on him the ice cream I has been enjoying. I almost dropped his phone which had been on my hand all that long. I was not ready for such big news. And I was definitely not sure how to react. Should I congratulate him? Should I be sorry for him? Should I act calm, shocked, amazed, pleased? I was not sure.

Although I had had my own suspicions about his sexuality, I kept thinking that I was merely overthinking. He was able to play it cool like a straight guy, not “hyper” like many gay men often do.

“Are you serious? That is why your phone has some sexy guys’ pictures only?”, I enquired jokingly. After a bit of smiling (in shock), I enquired further, “So, does your family know?”

With a deep sigh, he responded, “No, they don’t. My father would kill me if he ever found out. He totally hates homosexual people. The way he talks about them, you can see that he would never ever accept me. Right now, no one knows except you, my friend, and I trust that you won’t tell anyone”.

“I won’t tell anyone my friend I promise,” I assured him. We did the pinkie promise as a sign that we would stay true to each other on this matter.

But, somehow, later, our friendship started bringing jealousy to many people. Rumours started circulating that we were dating. At school, students started calling us The Ride or Die Couple. Even our families started to think that we were dating, such that one day Sandziso’s family invited me for dinner. His mother even referred to me her Makoti.

I played along with being Sandziso’s girlfriend until we both moved to different universities. As such, we only communicated through WhatsApp. We only saw each other only at the end of each academic year.

One morning, I got a text message from Sandziso saying that he was dating someone and was ready to come out of the closet. He was determined to tell his parents about his sexuality. For a moment I was worried about him because I knew how his father hated homosexual people. I kept asking him if he was sure about it since he knew what was at stake, but he was firm about it.

When the academic year came to an end, we both came back to our respective homes. We met and talked about his decision. I asked him again whether he was sure about it and he responded with an emphatic “Yes!” So, I reassured him of my unwavering support.

“Do you want me to come with you or you are going to be fine on your own” I asked. “No friend it’s okay. This is my fight and I have to do it on my own. Whatever is going to happen there, I will accept it. Even if my father can disown me, I don’t care.”

Later that night, when we were getting ready for dinner at my home with my parents and siblings, there was a knock on the door. It was Sandziso. His eyes were filled with tears. He had his luggage with him. I did not say much. I hugged him and took him into my room. I gave him time to be calm down before he could tell me everything.

He started opening up. “He said I should get out of his home and never come back. He also said that I am no longer his son.”

I was so shattered and did not know what to do next. He slept in my family’s house that night. The following day, he went to his boyfriend’s place.

Sandziso is now on his final year but it has been three years since he last saw his father. He is still in love with his boyfriend and they are still staying together. But he still does not seem complete. The absence of his family in his life is killing him.