I GAVE UP

I gave up. there it is, I just said it! Judge me, call me a coward, or whatever you want but I just had had enough, and I gave up!

I know many will question why, and what I gave up. Motivational speakers and quotes will be surprised that after so many times of advising a lot of people not to give up, I completely did the opposite. 

"Wake up, dust yourself and continue with the journey. Giving up is not an option", I always hear them saying, so I am here thinking that that is one of their favourite quotes.

Honestly, I sometimes feel like giving up is the best decision one could take. A decision of just letting things go in order to create a new space for other things or people, clear decisions that were engulfed by the old ones and broader understanding of what they really want in life.

Let us remember that when one door closes, another better one opens. So do not be afraid to give up. Do not force things, do not stay where you are unhappy, being hurt because you are afraid of giving up. You are not a loser but a survivor who gave up to allow new things, to take a better path of life and allow yourself to be the person you want to be.

I gave up too! And I never regretted giving up. In fact, after so long, I realised that it was the best decision I had taken.

I remember one day, tears endlessly rolling down my cheeks, my hands were on fire and numb, and I had to pretend as if everything was good just for the kid. I could not hold my son still because of how painful my hands were. I couldn't openly cry out loud because I knew my son will be hurt too.

My brother was the only one who gave me medication, took care of me and babysit my son. And that was when I realised that I was in the process of giving up and letting go.

I will not lie and pretend as if it was easy, it was not. Letting go was like losing a piece of me because of the deep love we shared.

Since it started hurting me, chances of making it a normal thing were high, so I had to give up to avoid it happening again and making it a habit of hurting me.

As I am sitting here wondering, I realised that giving up on sidvudvu (pumpkin pap) was indeed the best decision. I loved it, cooked it with passion and it gave me a scare that I still have even after seven years. So yah, giving up sometimes is worth it!

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