THINKING ABOUT LIFE

Oh, well, you know how sometimes braais,  or end-of-year parties, go. If you have never been to any, make sure you do. There is happiness, arguments, fights and this and that, but what matters at the end of everything is the happiness among the people there. The arguments and fights tend to often lead to unity! People often believe that an introvert person like me can never be associated with big crowds, but here is the thing; it depends who I am with and where I am! Sometime in November 2022, I attended my second end-of-year braai ever in life. My first was when I was 14 years old. I was with my sister and brother, so I could not enjoy drinking alcohol since I was young and had to steal it.   Last year’s braai was something else. I remember traveling a day before from my place to where we were supposed to the departure point the following day. I could not stop thinking about the journey. All that was running through my mind was the fun we would have, the drinking we wou...

I gave up. there it is, I just said it! Judge me, call me a coward, or whatever you want but I just had had enough,  and I gave up! I know many will question why, and what I gave up. Motivational speakers and quotes will be surprised that after so many times of advising a lot of people not to give up, I completely did the opposite.   "Wake up, dust yourself and continue with the journey. Giving up is not an option", I always hear them saying, so I am here thinking that that is one of their favourite quotes. Honestly, I sometimes feel like giving up is the best decision one could take. A decision of just letting things go in order to create a new space for other things or people, clear decisions that were engulfed by the old ones and broader understanding of what they really want in life. Let us remember that when one door closes, another better one opens. So do not be afraid to give up. Do not force things, do not stay where you are unhappy, being hurt because you are...

I couldn't help it when I saw the tent full of people. I didn't know what to do – cry out openly or just remain sad – but reality kicked in that you were no more. A day before, I climbed that mountain, that mountain we always talked about. The one that we had to go home and get my cows, remember that? That mountain a lot of people in Timbutini knew by heart and not physically, because you have been telling them about it. Today I’m here, the tent is full, and the words are stunning, what they are saying about you. I am deeply hurt though. Since I came home, I have been a stranger. A stranger as if I never knew you. A stranger as if "Alpha and Omega" never existed. You would have seen how empty our home was, but no matter what, I just left to mourn you where I thought you would be with me in spirit. When everything happened, the drama, the strange looks and everything, made me miss you more than you can imagine because I knew you would take me for a drink, just ...

"Behind a mask of a clown, lies a trail of tears". In life, everybody has a story to tell, one way or the other, but people have their own stories. Some might have already shared their stories, others might be scared and decide to keep it to themselves, and others have not yet found the softest spot to share it. Either way, one always has a story to tell. Below is a story of a young man, adopted when he was little, He tells his story in an unpleasant place.  My father often told me that, “behind a clown’s mask lies a trail of tears.” Unfortunately, during my younger years, his saying did not make any sense. I could not grasp the true meaning of the phrase. As I grew up, hearing him saying it again and again, I began to learn the true meaning of it. He went on and said “Son, the world is a stage, so go on and make your own story". Yes, it is true! In prison one has plenty of time to think about what one would have done with their lives. I tell you, one can do anything to ...

Picture courtesy: Toy Ideas I know many people will disagree with me when I say allow your kids to be free, open-minded and to choose their paths in life. Others will ask and say, "how is that possible?". Maybe others will even say "not my kid!" Well, here is the thing, I am not talking about the obvious things that parents, elder siblings or guardians should provide to their kids, like discipline, teaching them to respect others, etc! I am not saying that you should not give directions or guide either, but mbonise – guide them. Everyone makes decisions about their lives, and they need support. That also applies to children. So, before I confuse you, my point is not on the general stuff, but mainly on career choices at a young age. It is important to expose your kid to different career choices at a young age, because this is where they show their strengths and capabilities, likes and dislikes, interests and personalities, etc. Kids can show their talents th...

Just by looking at the above statement, I am sure your mind is trying to bring back some of your memories of your whereabouts on New Year’s Eve, and your heart beats faster knowing that you might regret some of the things you did during those final few hours on the 31 st. . Others might be wishing they could go back to that day and enjoy it all over again because of the enjoyment and happiness they experienced. Well, I am not here to be judgmental on what one did on the midnight of 31 st of December 2022, though it would have been great to hear people’s stories in this regard! The drama, the chaos, the juicy stories, the things one wish they should not have done and all of that, yes, I wish to hear it all. My 2023 began at Sihhohhweni, a place located in the Manzini region, eSwatini/Swaziland. It is a greenly rural area, especially in summer, surrounded by purely beautiful green mountains. One of those mountains is the famous Mdzimba mountain. This is a community where farmi...

Now that I’ve got your full attention, I know you’re asking yourself how a window helped me get my freedom. Well, it is not what you may be thinking, but actually something slightly different, something more dramatic than it sounds. It is what it is! My siblings and I were raised by a single mother, a primary school teacher. My mother taught the first grade, while my siblings attended various upper classes in the same school. At 4-years-old, I was too young to go to school. Since my mother and siblings all went to school, I was often left behind in the house, just one of the few in the teachers’ quarters next to the school. I would be all alone in the house, spending most of my time watching TV, playing different games – that ended up boring the childhood life out of me – and sleeping. It may seem disturbing, but I was not a chaotic child. I guess that’s why my mother trusted me to the extent of leaving me all alone in the house. During break time though, my elder sister would...

I couldn't believe it when I got an email about a very important meeting I had to attend in the city of high-rise buildings and notoriety. It was my first time attending any meeting. What made this meeting interesting was because it was in the city. See, being from the rural areas, you feel like you have made it in life when you are travelling to the city. So, I woke up early, prepared myself and took the early morning bus. Although the meeting was in the afternoon hours, I wanted to arrive early. I’ve always told myself that if you want to make a good impression, best be early . As I was arriving in the meeting venue, I noticed that the building I was in was very tall, just like the ones I saw since I arrived. I didn't know whether to knock on the big door or what, but I was so confused on what to do. "I don't want to embarrass myself, let me wait a bit, maybe someone will come out", I said silently pretending to be busy with my phone. In a few minutes, a...

  Sometimes I do believe people who claim there’s a sixth sense in every human being. Apparently, this is the sense that usually warns a person if something bad is happening or about to happen, which is why it is important to listen to it at all times. Unfortunately, if I have this 6 th sense in me, my sixth sense never warned me when I needed it the most. Growing up as a tomboy in the rural areas was one of the most challenging experiences for me during my teenage years. Although some people understood me, many couldn't. I was always bothered by what society thought of me. My dress code and association with boys gave everybody a different perspective of me. With the passage of time, I began to not care about it! It was either I lived my life the way I wanted and be happy or live how I was expected by people and be unhappy. And so, I chose me! Some people would call me names, but I was not bothered much because I knew who I was. They did not have the right to know why I of...

Some years back, I was renting a back-room run by a very religious and peaceful family. A routinely prayerful family which attended church services together. Just the type of family set up I wished to have in future. As a graphics designer, I am used to busy schedules. So, this particular Sunday was nothing unusual. I was asked to design a very challenging poster for a well-paying client and it took most of my time. Just a few minutes before finishing the poster, my sister gave me a call to assist her in one of her assignments which was due before midnight. I did not resist, I just agreed. I could hear people arguing loudly in the compound, it was my landlord and his wife. They would have some arguments in the past, but, even then, only when their children were away. As the argument escalated, becoming louder and louder, I decided to put on my headsets to keep myself away and concentrate on the work before me. While I was still focusing on what I was doing, I heard loud noise...

Some people are too quick to judge, don’t worry about them. No matter what you do, they will find a way to judge you in any way they wish. And this reminds me of you. After they heard what you did, they started judging you, bad-mouthing you while at the same time pretending to care about you. Some went to an extent of calling you a coward, being selfish and ignorant. But I know that many who were in your position, would have understood what you were going through. I for one have seen your pain, and I know how much you tried reaching out to as many people as you could, especially your family, but we ignored you, told you about our own problems and turned a blind eye on you. I know how much you tried keeping your head up, for your daughter’s sake, but the burden also kept piling and you couldn’t stand it anymore. Today I am in deep thought: maybe, by our deeds, we all wanted you to give up. Remember that it has been long since we had a gathering at home. Your family members are scattere...

  My love, I know that if you're reading this letter, it means you have already received the news. Perhaps you are the one who had the heavy task of informing everyone else. I also know that you are reading this with your eyes filled with tears, rolling down those beautiful cheeks which I always enjoyed to slowly caress and gently put them at ease with my soft kisses. I know that you have tons of questions, including the main reason that pushed me to the edge, for me to do what I eventually did, but my love, I am sorry that those questions will not be answered by me. But knowing you better, you will figure it out just like you always told me that you know me better than I know myself. If I may ask my love, have you seen a duck swimming? Well, I doubt you do because you are not a fan of animals. But, above the water, a duck is always very calm and collected, but underneath the water, it is trembling and struggling. Well, I guess that was me because my smile, laughter and jokes...

For two years, NSFAS has brought nothing but pain and misery in my life. I view myself as a failure because I can’t pursue my dream. My peers are now on their third year of study in higher education, others on their final years because they were lucky to be accepted at first application. Last year 2021, I was accepted in the University of South Africa under Diploma in Law. But then my registration got cancelled after failing to pay the minimum fee of R4,000. NSFAS denied me funding after my application status being on “Funding Eligible” for some time. So, I spent the whole year trying to look for a job, but no luck. This year 2022, I am again accepted at UNISA for Diploma in Public Relations. Well, I changed the course because I thought they were not funding students who applied for Law but again this year I was denied funding. For two months my application status being on “Evaluation”, for months trying to gain access to my portal but it ended on telling me “Unsuccessful” appare...

Sometimes they say every girl's dream is to get married one day. This is true in most cases, but we must not forget that there are some girls who don’t believe in marriage anymore. After four years of being in a relationship with my boyfriend, Sam, I realised that marriage was just a fantasy. Although I had a wish of getting married one day, Sam's attitude towards marriage made me realise that as long as I was with him, my wish would never come true. So, throwing the towel on marriage became the easiest thing to do. Sam was an introvert, a less talk and more action type of man. He was very secretive and liked surprises. "Baby you know I don't like surprises", I said one day when he bought me an expensive gift without my approval. But Sam being Sam, he never listened. One evening Sam visited me, and he was in a good mood. I was getting used to his exciting mood especially when it was his payday. "Surprise!" He shouted while showing me two flight tic...